I am REALLY BORED at HOME!!!

FREAK!!!

2nd day after my operation done!
I remember before I enter the operation room I told CG when is my turn??!! Can't wait to faster get it done and for all. (the main reason I want to get it done asap is because I need a confirm PERM status from ARMY!! another reason is I need to take a break and recover my sleeping time:P I was the 1st patient to go in. :) and my usual character cracking jokes with cg and nurses before my operation. Finally, laying on the operation bed. feeling very cold. heart rate was at 74bpm at the moments. nurses trying their best to find my vain to insert the needles to put me to sleep. after 5mins of trying, there i goes.. ZzzZZZzzzZZzzzZZzz.. :)

The next min when I woke up I am already in the ward. If I didn't remember wrongly the nurses woke me up and ask me weather if I am able to move to the bed and after that seeing CG stood in front of the bed there goes me sleeping again.

Woke up a quite a few times. Went bad to sleep a few times too. I can't remember what i did though... just wake up and went back to sleep was what i think i did. And Jun rong came despite me knowing him calling me, he still managed to find out my ward and bed. Because he's a regular customer over there. :)P

I thought I will be able to discharge before 3 so I start complaining till around 5 I am told by a junior doctor saying. (okay, you may discharge.) I was like!!! Can't you come eariler to say this 4word? Change to my home clothes and getting ready to discharge. just about to stand out and walk to the wheel chair I felt so dizzy and pain on my hip. The nurse came and advise me to consume the medicine and take a nap first. And she started saying you keep on talking to your friend and not sleeping how to go home of course you feel weak la.... LOL..

What a day spend there. Luckily got this good Buddy CG to be there!! Thanks So Much Buddy! In any case I still want to thanks you for what you had did. BIG THANK YOU!

actually spending hours at home resting aint as good as what you thought. It kinda makes me feel so bored apart from sleeping at home. Listening to music kind of makes me feel like turning off the player and go to sleep. Maybe Time to buck up in my life. read more story book to improve my english, newpaper to gain more knowledge and updates on what's happening to our world, more time on internet to see what i can buy on? haha:P Craving for a new keyboard. Research tommorrow!

A very good comment. Say already dont listen, listen already dont understand, dont understand dont want ask, ask already dont want do, do already made mistakes, make mistakes dont admit, admit already dont want change, change already not happy, not happy dont want say, what's more you want me to do?

Time to go to bed... feeling tired already.. another day to look for tommorrow.. update tmrw again.


BON NUIT

FEAR!

Sigh...

Watch youtube regarding how wrist surgey works...

I am so freaking scared man.. :( :(

how much I would want to have mmmmmmm.....

off to bed and to the surgey...

:(

nights :(

Long Post!!!

It's been sometime not posting anything.....

Well, what can i say? This is how life goes...

Good and Bad things... Cest La Vie!

Had a lousy ride on saturday! I had too much high expectation on myself and to the others. The whole ride doesn't feel like the ride I am suppose to ride on or to train for.. It just feels like SHIT to me and I can't tolerate myself riding at the pace which I didnt meet my ways of training criteria. Maybe/ Or I am just wrong... Which It just result in how I am stuck at the zone where no matter how much and hard work put it, it's still no imporvement made.. :( :( :(

Woke up LATE this morning AGAIN!!! IT'S THE WORD "LATE AGAIN". shitt... hate it hate it hate it... :( went rushing like hell getting my bottle fill up and grabbing some SIS bars and off to 0830 Ride. rode the other direction to meet them halfway as I am already LATE!!! I hope this will be my last time waking up late for ride!! :( Went to watch YOG mens open road race.. we reach there just in time to watch the finishing only as everyone knows how singapore traffic system is like... JAM here JAM there... Jam till we fed up and just park somewhere on the payment path and just walk over... Watching the winner's country flag flying up high in the air.. having asking myself. Will I have a chance to bring Singapore to glory and carrying the flag flying up high in the air too? I want to.. it's easy to say.. but it's how much hardwork and effort you put in brings you up there!

I am going for my wrist operation this thursday... Can't wait... but having fear too... having thoughts of myself on the operation bed, waiting for the doctor to come. and the equipments lay nicely beside me.. DOTS!!! It's just freak me out..

I really hope everything goes according to my plans. TDL my next aim and goal.. Though I know the training time is short to come in time for the race. With what I had plans in mind, everything should goes well with my determination, hardwork and discipline comes in.

Well, It's going to be an OFF SEASON for me!!! :)) Time to make use of this time to recover well and start planning how my training plan come in with Frankie.

Bon Nuit
Sweet dreams

Monday BLUEsssssss

What a day! What a weekend! :((((((

Making new friend is hard, Losing a friend is even harder!
I really hate this feeling!!! Please stop it!!! I am so tired of this!!!

I am feeling so stress up, fed up, disapointed, depress, mentally down... I can't think of anything.. I had so much things to do and complete but.. all stuck here.

How much I want back my discipline.. Keeping myself on form.. Riding 4 to 5 hours every weekend is really not enough for me.. I need to ride 5 to 6 hours instead! I feel like really shit now... SHITT!!! 2 days late for training in a row! I didn't even heard my alram ringing.

I miss Sunday dinner with the team. I really miss it... the day, the people, the dinner, that moment where laughters are there. In a way, I was quite dissapointed too.. Hope next time you could make yourself free and be there with us...

Bro, You do not need to tortured yourself in any ways. Is really no point and it's BBY! Please be back to yourself and stop making people around you so worried about you. From your family to MJ and to your friends!

All this while there's so much things bothering non-stop! I really need a break man!!!

CEST LA VIE! :(

Wanted to go for an early morning ride! but... it rain... So when on sleeping till 9plus. Woke up, wash up, and off to training! :)

4hours ride again! halfway through my ride I went to Athlete's Circle to get an Cadence meter for my bike! So to make sure I am not stupidly training for 4 hours. Well, I need a computer system to fix on my bike. :) was so excited with that small little new toy... so get it fixed on my bicycle straight after I pay the money... had some problem and found out that the battery was flat so get it change straight, and back to mounting on to my bicycle. thought after changing e new battery everything will goes well. but unexpcetedly after getting out of the shop and went on with my training I found out my watch wasn't reading and it kind of irrate me off, so went to a bus stop and see what i can do with it but nothing happy.. kind of give up and continue cycling.. telling myself go home then fix it again.. no point wasting time trying and neglect on my training program. :( Now transfering today's data into my computer! and, got a big headache now! how do i merge both exercise together? going to leave for tommorrow night when I am back to camp..

anyways, halfway through my ride. Dinah saw me and shouted arcoss the road.. haha. anyways, thanks DINAH. let's train hard and aim for our goals!

Went back to studio to get the laptop and also to shoot.. Shoot cancel so I went on trying to repair the laptop... I love changelling things but it must be within my abiblity still.. haha :) and to my genuis mind. I found out the solution.. haha. I am so happy :) haha.. I anyhow one.. very rubbish of me. :P

Tomorrow back to camp!!! :( How am I going to train 4 hours again??? SIGH!! I hate .... Please grant me off.... Or ORD tomorrow even better.

CHI CHI LET's go MTB !!!!

okay..

Bon Nuit
sweet dreams..

Nice :)

Surprisingly!! I am back on track with my training! even witout my team mates you can still see me training alone under the hot sun! Well, I am Happy with myself! 4 hours ride everynow and then. Maybe that is because I got a new heart rate montior! Finally, and now with that I am able to download everyday's data to training peak and study it. Hope this will be the spirit from me everyday!

AND TO MY SUPRISE!
I woke up this morning and found out it was lunch time! must be yesterday went out too late. Got summom for not putting the damn coupon! $30... Anways, put that aside.. went out with Jun rong, Tim and Sarah for Supper. Supper for beancurd at thomson. Nice! had a great chat with them too. will make this chit-chat session happen often soon! waiting for chi chi to be back too!

Wanting to go out for supper again badly... but lemuel can't make it and since I am way tired to drive too.. So stay home instead and blog. Haha..

Long weekend man!! NICE!! Love it!

bon nuit
sweet dreams.

Lots of things going through my mind... Need to be sort up!

Gald to have you as a buddy! Thanks lots!

Bon Nuit... Felt asleep halfway.. Going to continue my sleep now.

Vex & Stress

If I had a choice.

I do not wish to know about it...

Disappointment...
Troubles....
Worries...
burden...

Had been trying to stay optimistic...
how much long can i still hold on to???

I am going down soon....

I am sick....
Health getting bad...

Sore throat...
Slight Fever....
Fatigue....
Wrist Pain....
..........................

God, Please help me!

Life?!?!?

I know what I want in life. but i am not doing anything...

equipment, chances , opportunties are there for me, yet I am still not doing anything.

it rain this morning and i didn't went out riding, just bring out the trainer and cycle for less than 20mins and i am off...

my mentality is just as weak as whom i thought i was.

seeing my mates lemuel doing so well and me just being riding everywhere making no plans for future...

food that i consume nowadays is so SINFUL to me....

how much I say now will it be turn to action?

Someone help pull me up from my dream... I do not want to be in there anymore...

I had enough of off season...

I have alot of issuses coming along..
I am very upset on it..

I want to be the best out of the best. Not only to defeat others but the real opponents is in me!

bon nuit